Sales can be tough. In this episode, I talk about why it’s important to keep going by telling the story of how I met my wife…
Sales is difficult. Even the best salespeople get rejected more than half the time, and those are the best. If you’re just starting out in sales, it can be tough dealing with the rejection that comes again and again, but it’s critically important that you keep going and keep trying. Why? Let me answer that by telling you the story of how I met my wife. The story actually starts about two years before I met her.
Throughout high school and university, I was always horrible at asking out girls and getting dates. I was so nervous about it that I was a wreck. However, there was one thing I did do right. I made a decision that I wanted to get better. I was sick and tired of not having dates so I made the decision that I would start to ask out girls that I was interested in. At the beginning, it was still difficult. It would take me months to work up the courage to ask out a girl that I liked. Most of the time, I would try to wait and avoid it and think, “Oh well, I’ll ask her next time.” But next time sometimes didn’t come and I would never see her again only to regret what could have been.
But I finally got better and did start to ask out girls. I noticed one thing, which was that I always felt better asking out a girl and getting rejected than when I failed to do anything. For some reason, it just made me feel better knowing that I took action and her response was out of my control. I think that applies to sales a lot.
A couple months before I met my wife, I was getting better at asking out girls. I asked out this one girl that I liked which turned out to be the worst date of my life. Now, this was a girl in my social circle who I had known and was trying to ask out for a couple weeks and didn’t get anywhere. Then finally, I was able to muster up the courage to ask her out but I did it in a way that was more of trying to guilt her into coming out with me. So when the date, when the time came, I went to pick her up, and instantly I knew something was wrong. I had that gut feeling that basically I should just say bye and say, “Hey, something’s up,” and leave it at that. But of course, I didn’t listen to my intuition and the next hour or so just turned out to be hell.
She barely said ten words to me no matter what I tried. I tried asking her questions. I tried making her laugh. I tried commenting about stuff. She was just clearly not interested in being there with me and I was getting so frustrated and the anger was building up inside me till finally I just took her home and left it at that. However, later that day in the parking lot, a woman made a snide remark at me and I just completely lost it. All the frustration that had built up inside me just came pouring out. I started swearing at her and yelling at her. I’m normally a pretty calm guy to the point where I was shaking. After she drove off, I couldn’t believe what I had done. This was by far probably the worst day I can remember in my history.
Afterwards, thinking about it, all the effort I put in in trying to ask out girls and getting rejected again and again had just finally come to a point. But I didn’t give up. I decided I still want to keep going even though it seems like I’m making no progress.
So a few weeks later, there was another girl I had dated for a few times and she had also rejected me. I happened to run into her one night when I was out salsa dancing. Of course, all the feelings of pain came. You try to put on a happy face but inside you’re still, of course, you’re disappointed. However, this turned out to be the same night that I met my wife. She was there as well. So I saw this girl that looked cute and I went over to ask her to dance and throughout the night. We talked a bit back and forth. Then near the end of the evening, I see from across the area that she’s getting ready to leave with her friends. She’s getting her coats and they’re all set to go. Here, I could sense I just have to go over there and ask her out.
So I muster up my courage and go see if she’d like to meet up sometime. Now, luckily she said yes. We started dating. Then a couple years later, now we are married. So the point of bringing this back to sales is that bad periods happen. In the learning process, learning to do something new, there’s always going to be bad things. However, you need to pick yourself up and keep going. There are times when I wonder what would have happened had I given in and said, “To hell with this. I’m not going to face this rejection anymore.” What if I hadn’t? I think of all the things I’d be missing out on if I hadn’t gone over there and asked out my wife. If you give up, what would you be missing out on?